Cottage Cheese.

The last days of my liquid pre-op diet are here.  I am so excited to soon be finished with this stage of my Journey. My diet for the last 11 days has consisted of water - flavored or not, protein shakes, low fat yogurt, wonton soup sans wontons, the dreaded low fat cottage cheese, sugar free popsicles, no sugar added fudgesicles, a disgusting cup of beef broth, an occasional Diet Coke and one cheat.  (I got so weak and felt so worn down that I went to Zaxby's and had a grilled chicken salad about half way through.)
  
This stage was much harder than I thought it would be.  I have felt hungry all the time - my stomach rumbling and growling almost constantly.  I confirmed that I am truly a carb addict.  I surprised myself by not craving sweets - yet wanting salty things.  I spent a whole day craving pork rinds.  I haven't had pork rinds in YEARS, yet I would have gladly eaten a whole bag if I was given one.  One day, I wanted Taco Bell tacos in mass quantities.  Another day - sour cream and chive potato chips.  I am happy to say that I didn't cave for any of those cravings.  I saved my cheat for a healthy meal and I really enjoyed it.

I know I have been cranky for the past two weeks.  Starving will do that to a person.  Every time I turned on the television, there was a commercial advertising something I really felt like I needed to eat RIGHT THEN.  Every magazine you open has pictures of delicious looking food jumping off the page.  I have blocked all the restaurants that I LIKED on facebook.  When my friends posted yummy looking foods and recipes, I hid the stories so I didn't see them on my feed.

I have been embarrassed in public when my stomach growls or rumbles.  Maybe I am the only one that can hear it, but it sounds deafening to me.  I am so glad that this surgery will do away with the hormone that causes that horrible feeling.

My greatest victory over the past 11 days is that I have already lost 16 pounds!  I weigh myself every morning before I do anything else.  I started at 285 lbs and this morning, I stepped on the scales and saw 269 glowing bright!  It is a great feeling!

With that weight loss comes the realization that I could easily go out in the next couple days and eat it all right back on again.  I know this because I have done it so many times before.  I can already hear the little voice in my head - "C'mon - you deserve it!  Let's run over to McDonald's and get us a Big Mac and large fries!"  In the past, I would have grabbed my keys and been out the door.  Not this time.

I have two more days until my surgery.  I am convinced I can do this.  The first few weeks after the surgery will be very difficult.  I have to deal with the pain from the surgery and still try to keep myself hydrated and moving.  My diet will be protein drinks, water and those sugar free popsicles.  The difference this time is that I won't have that overwhelming feeling of hunger.

I have to be at Centennial Woman's Hospital at 5:30 am on Tuesday.  It will be an early morning for us - the hospital is an hour away.  I don't know the actual time of my surgery, but it is supposed to take 2 1/2 to 3 hours.  I have not heard whether the surgeon is going to need to repair my hiatal hernia during the surgery.  If so, that will add some time to the procedure.  Standard move to the recovery room and then off to my room.  I am still not clear on how long I will be in the hospital.  So much is determined by how I do post-operatively.  I have heard one night (insurance company) to 3 nights (surgeon's office) and anything in between.

Thank you to all my family and friends who are actively supporting me.  It means so much to me.  My silent supporters who keep me in their thoughts and prayers are also such a blessing.

I am so ready for the next steps on my Journey.

1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.